LOCKED GAZE

-

2011-11-26T17:01:00.000+08:00

i think i've lost interest in everything; life in general. i thought i would be all excited and hyped up over the end of alevels (almost) but i'm quite the opposite. i wake up every afternoon and all i want to do is to fall asleep again. either that or i'll climb out of bed, switch on my laptop and begin a fascinating hunt for updates and whatsoever on my oppas. it's nice, just not as fascinating truthfully. i do go outside, quite forcibly though. movies make me drowsy and i'm mostly a walking zombie on shopping trips. pretty shoes, clothes, bags, accessories, boys: meh. i'm a legit otaku.

people bore me. deactivated all my twitter accounts. the sharing of everything personal; twitter just isn't the place for me. not when my own thoughts and opinions are so fucked up. tumblr is the ultimate evil, where everyone on it is nothing short of plain superficial. i used to think otherwise, when i was just like all of them. i'm only keeping it to get latest updates and perhaps for the occasional handful of people who can relate.

right now i'm just waiting for alevels to be completely over so that i can have my unrestrained and guilt-free rest. found a job, hopefully i'll get through with the interview and stay on for at least half a year. that will solve my depleting bank account problem and give me some allowance for a new phone, film camera, korean classes, korea trip and a few other random stuffs.

i'm feeling sleepy again.

pretty much

2011-08-10T00:21:00.001+08:00

1. Objectives in my life

2. Love of my life

3. Reading pleasure of life

4. Reminder of life

5. Place where I spent half of my life

tooth friendly

2011-07-03T18:37:00.000+08:00

Tooth friendly sweets and Taemin. Probably all that I need right now.

Sentosa

2011-05-22T14:57:00.002+08:00

Family outing to Sentosa yesterday. It's sort of a late birthday celebration for my sis and dad. Quite a miracle for us to go out together the whole day like this. Lol some photos after the jump break.

Number 1 rule when eating: remove all greens in your food.

Cable car was our main transport that day hahaha.

.

2011-05-01T15:35:00.000+08:00

It's just a hopeless hope.

Taemin is my messaging partner

2011-04-07T20:29:00.000+08:00

I feel so horrible today but Taemin was there to make my day so much better. Be jealous bitches.

life of an obsessed fangirl.

2011-03-26T23:12:00.000+08:00

Block tests are finally over. I feel like killing myself honestly. Flunked every single subject. I'm just waiting for teachers to call me and say those dreadful words to me: "You should consider U-turn." Urgh whatever, I hate school so much.

Anyway, we went Science Centre to celebrate the end of Block Tests. It beats going for movies/food/whatever people usually do. Lmao do not judge.

So now that I'm kinda free without any homework or revision to do, I'm actually feeling rather uneasy. It's like I'm so used to thinking "There's still work to do. I still need to study." that I can't even relax and enjoy myself fully these two days. Imagine post-A Levels. Oh god, by then mugging will be so integrated into my life that I can't live without studying.The horror omg.

On a side note, I think I need to stop spending money on SHINee goods. I got bored and went to calculate how much I've spent. Guess what? I keyed in all the numbers into the calculator and the sum actually reached 514. And I actually did not include other small little stuff I bought here and there. I can't believe myself. Here:

And these are just part of the collection. Hahaha okay control, abstain, refrain, whatever. But no, I cannot resist taemptation. Hahaha okay bye.

the world will not perish.

2011-03-13T01:20:00.000+08:00

So, March holidays huh?

Doesn't really make any difference to me since I'll still need to mug my ass off for block tests too.

But at least I managed to get some quality rest these two days and I actually get to spend my whole day playing around with Photoshop :) Well, this is what I love to do.

So yeah, finally made myself a new desktop wallpaper and a new background for my Flavors.me page :)

Just gonna leave my Twitter page as it is because I love staring at Taemin's back.

My mum said this to me today: "What is happening to the world right now is just God taking people back. Just because the Earth population is too huge. And after this whole disaster tides down, the world will start afresh again. New people, new families, new communities, new countries. God will not let the world perish." I just hope so. My heart goes all out to those in pain right now.

#prayfortheworld

someday, all of these will end. but when will someday come?

2011-03-05T21:49:00.001+08:00

I meant over the weekends which is just tomorrow since I've wasted the whole of today going for Sports Carnival, sleeping at home, reading fanfics and editing stuff on Photoshop.

Block tests are coming, I feel the stress already but I just can't start revision. I really have no idea why. I have such a strong feeling that I won't do well no matter how hard I study. I've been failing all my tests since school starts this year. I've studied, I really did. But I just can't do it. I guess I'm just that stupid.

And he has to keep putting me down in front of the whole class. Perhaps he's right, I didn't study hard enough but there's really no need for constantly insulting me. Stop the "Prove me wrong". I can't, just can't. If you think that's gonna spur me on to study even harder, you're wrong. It's just gonna make me feel even more useless and perhaps I'll just give up on myself one of these days.

You can say that I'm weak, giving up without putting up a strong fight. You can say whatever you want because I really do not have the energy to be bothered much anymore.

I have so much hatred for my life right now, you have no idea. Fuck my life, big time.

six feet under the stars

2011-02-02T21:35:00.000+08:00

Ordered this constellations projector during June last year and I just received it today. Consider it as a new year gift for myself. It's beautiful isn't it?

Anyway, happy cny ^^;;

-

2011-01-31T01:51:00.001+08:00

I didn't do anything at all for the past few days ever since Thursday night. Went out for movie and shopping after school on Friday and slept my weekends away. I love life like this even though it's so direction-less, meaningless and whatever but it's not like my current life have much meaning to it too.

In a few more hours I'll be in hell again while the J1s are happily enjoying themselves at orientation. But well, I'd probably prefer lessons over orientation since I hated it last year.

And I can't believe CNY is in a few days' time yet I can't feel any excitement about it. The only thing I'm looking forward to is probably the 4 days of holiday. Like 4 days is a lot but yeah, I'm so desperate for a break that 4 days seem so much. Done with CNY shopping but that's only because mum has been bugging me non-stop to go get myself new clothings. I don't even understand why we need new clothes and new everything for CNY. It's not like new clothings=new life. I'm still gonna live the same old routine so it's really pointless but it's a good excuse to get new clothes without spending my own money. And did I mention how much I dislike visiting on lunar new year? It's like the same thing every single year and I have to force myself to smile at people I barely know and then act like I'm so interested in their lives/children/whatever shit. Totally not looking forward to visiting at all. I'd rather lock myself up at home.

Anyway, this is all I did for today other than helping out with the dishes after reunion dinner.

Lol, I'll be staring at that beautiful face whenever I'm doing my work now hahaha. Call me obsessed or whatever you want because I don't really care about what people think of me now.

Not gonna update this space anytime soon. I'm just gonna leave it to rot till I actually have things worth blogging about.

keep your head down

2011-01-23T01:44:00.001+08:00

Another week gone and I'm basically studying every single fucking day. Everyday is the same routine I don't even know what to blog about. I'm just so sick of it already yet I've to constantly remind myself that "This is just the beginning."

Went out to study with Sandra in the morning, yes a Saturday morning, but I didn't managed to complete much since my mind was on everything except homework. Shopped around Orchard and I'm supposed to continue with my work once I reached home but I really can't. So I tried something new, something I like doing. Here it is: paper cutting hahaha! First time doing this I don't even know it can be this fun! But I kinda screwed it up so it looks quite gross. Just happened to be listening to TVXQ's Keep Your Head Down so yeah.

I really regretted not studying something I have interest/passion in. Like really, really, really regretted it. I wanted to take on design courses in poly but was put down by my family. I'm fully aware that I'm not good at it but at least I'll be happy doing and studying about things I like instead of Physics, Chemistry, Maths and all that shit which I have absolute zero interest in. Still feeling rather bitter about it but I can't do anything now except to do well for A Levels and this time round, get into a Uni course of my own choice. I guess I'll go to bed now since I have loads of work to complete tomorrow plus another gym session. Yeah gym, don't be shocked.

I'll be a walking zombie when the year ends. Gnight.

seaside

2011-01-17T00:03:00.000+08:00

It's gonna be Monday again in like 15 minutes. Hell is starting all over again. The three days of lessons last week was torturous. This is just the start yet I'm feeling so drained and out of breath already. I hate this kind of lifestyle-waking up in the morning, head to school, reach home in the late afternoon, nap, study till 3AM, sleep and repeat the whole cycle forever. Yet somehow I'm thankful for it numbs me and shuts me off from issues and people I do not wish to face.

Saturday, I slept in. Headache was so horrible that I was practically lying on my bed the whole day. But all they saw is me being lazy as usual. Because they just can't understand how this whole school thing is making me feel so exhausted. And I'm too tired to care less.

I hate how people are so bent on perfection. Why can't you all just accept the fact that we are all humans and not flawless?

I need to go take care of my pile of school work. Seems like there's no end to it and I'll be lagging behind forever.

school starts...

2011-01-10T00:54:00.001+08:00

my life....

what a great sense of accomplishment

2011-01-05T03:09:00.000+08:00

Oh hi there. I'm so happy right now because I finally managed to get the full version of Photoshop CS5 and Quicktime PRO like for free just by following some tutorials online. I never knew it would be so damn easy like wtf I've been trying for so long that I almost gave up and went to buy the full version. Omg I'm so glad I didn't. Okay anyway, I need those two programs to make gifs and of course many other stuff as well. And so yeah, here's the first gif I made using my new softwares <3

So tired right now. I'm just gonna sleep and experiment more when I'm free (after completing some homework first of course). Bye and continue staring at my wonderful gif of Taemin ^^

they say '2011: same shit, different digits'

2011-01-03T02:48:00.001+08:00

BE NICER TO EVERYONE.

hahaha nah I was just joking.

How about a proper 2011 post?

Omg I seriously do not know. 2:14AM right now, I'm not sleeping, I'm not studying, I'm not doing anything but wasting time. I'm used to sleeping at 4AM everyday and waking up only when everyone finished their lunch just to go online till it's time to sleep. And that's basically what I do for this whole holiday minus the working bit. And I'm not even sure if I've blogged this same thing before. My life is the same every single day that I can even lose track of the date.

2010 was so torturous and I have a strong feeling 2011 is gonna be worse. To be honest, entering a JC was perhaps a wrong decision. Simply because I'm not smart yet I can't be disciplined enough like everyone else to study when I need to. I have soooo many fears right now I don't even dare to list them out.

It was also the year I got in K-Pop and despite all the joy I've got out of it, I must admit it really sucked me dry. In terms of money, time, energy and perhaps friendships.

Back to point, in short, 2010 wasn't by far the best year. Too many issues to deal with and I was just too exhausted.

I don't expect much from 2011 but to just do well in my studies. That's probably the most important thing right now and I should put it as my number one priority. I will need to stop my obsession over idols and all that too but well, it's gonna be a real challenge and I doubt I'm gonna succeed since I'm not all that willing to get over them too. Okay whatever, I'll just try to keep a balance and pull my grades up. Oh and of course I wish to shed some fats too but I say that every year so hahaha it has lost its meaning already I'm just saying that for the sake of...saying? It's like a tradition lol.

Hmmm so that's about it, real boring year up ahead. Nothing much for 2011 because 2012 should be 'THE' year since we are all gonna die lol.

And oh, they said Taemin's gonna be legal this year and so am I. Lololol I'm going to sleep.

OH MY LIFE.

2011-01-01T02:16:00.001+08:00

HIGH HIGH I'M SO HIGH~ HIGH HIGH UP IN THE SKY~

OMG HAPPY 2011! :)

Anyway, that's not what I'm high about! Taemin omfg!! I swear these 3 nights were the best since I get to watch Gayo Daejun for hours straight. All the performances were damn awesome especially SHINee's stage at SBS Gayo. THAT WAS THE SEX. Urgh, nothing can describe how I felt so I just made a post on tumblr. It's for fun okay please don't judge me lol. And Taemin's solo dance stage today? OVARIES EXPLODED. You know? Bet you don't cause it's a Tumblr thing trololol.

I swear this person is the definition of perfection and yes, I'm obsessed with him and that's none of your business.

Uhm so 2011? TBH, I really don't feel anything. It's not like my life is gonna change overnight so I don't get the big deal about new year. Okay whatever it's 9 more days till school reopens and well, I've only managed to complete one GP compre and a few maths questions so far. Have not even printed out Chemistry assignments. What am I gonna do?

Haissss, my life sucks.

This isn't like any typical 'New Year' post but I don't currrrr. Gonna leave it as it is goodbye.

2010-12-31T22:35:00.000+08:00

Hi, new year in a few hours' time. MBC Gayo Daejun now. Kpopflash is lagging like wtf. I'm pissed and desperate like the pathetic bitch i am. Brb to edit this post. I. NEED. TO. WATCH. SHINEE'S. PERFORMANCE.

i've sinned.

2010-12-27T17:19:00.001+08:00

So SHINee's concert in Japan was yesterday and yesterday was the most torturing day of my life since I'm just stuck at home in effing Singapore and hating everyone while all the Jap Shawols are enjoying themselves. Some fan photos and fancams were out last night already and I swear I'm so proud of them. Especially this performance: It made me teared. Like wtf, I don't cry for any performance no matter how touching it is but this...omg it's too beautiful, heartbreaking and all. I can't even describe how I feel. Look at Taemin's sad face, it's so miserable I just want to fly over to his side and hug him. Urgh, whatever, you non-Taemints won't ever understand how I feel. And bitches, do not ever doubt my love for him, you don't know how much I love him. Just...watch.

And this Taemin's solo...his voice is so amazing and... *speechless*

And then I fucking woke up to this picture:

and I'm like OMFG FMLFMLFML and shaking all over and my fingers are still wobbly while I'm typing this out. I'm staring at the picture wiling for that piece of cloth to just disappear. God, I'll be sent to jail for having thoughts like that.

Fuck you Lee Taemin, look what you're doing to me.

I'm just gonna go download all the fancams and sob at home.

And you know what? Fuck homework. Now is not the time for shit like that. I'm not gonna be bothered about studies this whole holiday. What for torture myself now when I'm gonna go through all those shit soon next year. Got to enjoy the last 2(?) weeks of freedom before hell takes over my life.

Fuck, I need the concert dvd NOW.

MERRY X'MAS.

2010-12-24T22:01:00.000+08:00

I baked the log cake above, no joke. Nah, I'm not so capable. My sis made it in school.

And here is my Christmas present lol. ♥ It came in the mail this afternoon (after months of waiting). Pictures inside are so damn precious I'm not gonna show hahaha.

Anyway, I finally went to the dentist this morning. Turns out I have three rotten teeth and one is in such a bad condition that I need a root canal treatment or extraction. Root canal is obviously the better choice so I'll most probably go for it and that means I'll have to say bye to another thousand plus dollars. My parents will pay but I don't feel good so I'll most likely pay for it myself. Urgh, my Canon DSLR will have to wait again.

And I finally got the motivation to start on holiday assignments. Hopefully it's not short-lived.

conflicted

2010-12-23T00:36:00.000+08:00

I'm all good now. I was feeling rather down the past week and that's why I locked up this place and didn't really talk to much people. I don't know why. I mean I was basically alone most of the time either working or staying at home. So I guess I have nothing better to do and my mind started wandering everywhere. I thought too much about everything and created problems out of nothing for myself. I was really emotional and all that nonsense but I guess I'm fine now since nothing bad happened at all. It was just me and my dumb thoughts stirring up troubles. I felt so much better after ranting my life story over at livejournal and I thought things through after that as well so yeah, I'm back to normal now I suppose.

But still, I don't feel like dealing with many people yet so I gave 4G chalet a miss and went out with Sandra and JYan instead. I'm really sorry about that though. I just hope people will understand.

3 weeks of holidays flew past just like that, with me lazing around everyday and doing absolutely nothing useful at all. I'm left with 2 weeks to catch up on school work and studies before beginning J2. It's definitely going to be a tiring and long way ahead. To be honest, I'm really scared of next year. A levels...I'm not even prepared to end my J1 year yet. Time passed by way too fast. I still feel like O Levels just ended and I just entered college.

2010 is coming to an end soon too. This is by far one of the shortest year I've lived. Thinking back, life has been so hectic all year round, it's kind of suffocating. I haven't really been through all the love, relationships, heartbreaks, and whatsoever but nevertheless, I think I've learnt and changed the most this year. I've seen much more kinds of people at school and at work and that really changed my view on things a whole lot. There are problems going on in the family and I've learnt to cherish them more than I used to in the past.

I guess this holiday really changed my perspective on things. Sometimes, it's really nice to be on your own outside and just think. It's true you may feel lonely at first but you will just get used to it gradually. I think it's nothing to be ashamed of too.

I hope for 2011 to be a better year but I say that every year and it doesn't really helps so I shan't pin my hopes too high.

at the workplace

2010-12-15T23:03:00.000+08:00

I was bored at work so I went to Facebook-stalk people and I found out here's how most people pose.
I hope people won't bash me for this. Trololol.

I told you my work is boring and I get to slack~

my love is infinite

2010-12-13T00:27:00.000+08:00

Hi, I'm bored so I made myself a new desktop wallpaper again. So from this:

it looks like this now:

I don't know...he's the most beautiful being on earth.

Goodnight, there's work in the morning.

hotness overload

2010-12-09T23:24:00.000+08:00

One of the best performance ever. EVER.

This is me right now:

Goodnight.

listen to my heartbeat

2010-12-08T20:32:00.000+08:00

I'm bored to tears. There are in fact heaps of things waiting for me to complete but I just can't seem to get started on those important stuff. I'd rather waste my time lazing around and doing nothing at home. Life is so damn meaningless. I sleep at 4am everyday, wake up when people are preparing for their afternoon nap, go online and just I don't know...lurk around the Internet? I used to get hooked onto Tumblr and Flickr for hours but now it's getting real boring. And I don't have the energy to continue fangirling everyday over someone who doesn't even know of my existence because that feels so fucking pathetic. There's nothing to do online now but I just can't bear to switch off the laptop because that will only means back to sleep time. I don't want to rot away at home there's nothing much to do outside as well except the usual movies, shopping and food which means spending more money and I can't really afford to do so. What's more, all my friends seem to be missing so there's no one else to go out with except my sis and cousins. I'll have to tidy up my study area tomorrow morning and then start on the pile of tutorials and assignments. So I'm just waiting for my new job to start this Friday which ends in just a week and then I shall keep myself busy with school work and stuff and just wait for school to resume.

Yeah, I have no life so just laugh all you want. Bye.

lights go on again

2010-12-04T23:22:00.001+08:00

So Crystal and me went airport for BEAST's arrival this morning. There was no one there when we reached so we decided to sit at McDonald's and write letters to them. Who knows everyone was crowding at the barricades after we were done. Damn, we were supposed to be standing right behind the barricades. So we ended up only catching a glimpse of the boys and not able to pass our letters to them. Then we met this group of really nice fangirls and we went to the hotel to continue our stalking, hoping to see some BEAST but well, needless to say, it was a wasted trip. We just don't have the luck when it comes to such things. >:-(

So yeah, I thought I had a good view before BEAST came out but my view totally got blocked by all the heads and hands that just popped out of nowhere as soon as the boys walked out. And that was all I managed to get on camera, damn blurry but spy Kikwang, Dongwoon and Junhyung(?) if you can~

Oh, and those are my gross letters. And I actually requested them to help me pass a message to Taemin HAHAHA. Not gonna burn them, I'll keep it for the next time instead.

Met up with Kelly darling yesterday, had fun with her and of course, I got my hands on some SHINee goodies :D

♥

Spent a bomb on those SHINee stuffs. Anyway, I went to collect my pay for the month just now and I earned like $276 only! WTF. This job totally sucks and I'm honestly so damn glad I'm out of there. Who knows 16 years old girls can be such bitches. My life there will be so much happier without them. But who cares now that I'm finally never going to have to see their faces, _|_. Suck on that, motherfuckers.

Random 25 day Tumblr Challenge

2010-11-30T01:14:00.002+08:00

So my previous 30 days letter writing challenge failed terribly and I'm doing this again since I'm damn bored right now and I can't sleep. But I'm just gonna complete this whole thing in a day instead of 25 days and on my blog instead of Tumblr.

After the jump break.

1. Post a picture of yourself and introduce yourself

Hi, my name is Jolyn and I love Lee Taemin. Obvious so enough said.

2. Ten facts about yourself

- I love Lee Taemin

- I'm penniless

- I love art

- I have 3 sisters

- I'm actually racking my brains now

- I have amazing friends

- I hate animals, especially cats

- I'm fine with insects though

- I'm lazy

- I'm afraid of ghosts

3. Five positives and negatives about you

- Skipping this because I can't think of 5 positives and my negatives probably will flood this whole post.

4. Five likes and dislikes

Likes:

- Turquoise

- Cameras

- Money

- Chocolates

- Stationeries

Dislikes:

- Cats

- Veggies

- Public display of gross nose-picking acts

- Envious people who bash on koreans for no good reason except because they are jealous

- Overly sociable people

5. Your new years resolution

- Score well for A Levels

6. What do you look forward for next year?

- Definitely not months of mugging so there's nothing for me to look forward to actually.

7.If you were locked in a room for 24 hours with the person you don’t like, how would you pass the time?

- Kill myself.

8. Your biggest fears

- I'm insecure so not gonna reveal it here.

9. Your hobbies

- I really like drawing, taking photos and handicrafts. Hahaha I know I suck. But well, you don't have to be good at something to make it your hobby right?

10. Favourite quote

- Uhm, I'm not a person who goes after philosophical life quotes and make them my motto in life :/

11. Favourite animal

- God, I said I dislike animals. But if I were to chose, it will be tigers.

12. Your celebrity crushes

- Lee Taemin. Do I even need to mention?

and Jerry Yan. Hahaha!

13. Three favorite songs, movies, and shows

Songs:

- 하나 (One) - SHINee

- Falling for you - Colbie Caillat

- 下雨天 - 南拳妈妈

Movies:

- Wildchild

- Inkheart

- Inception

Shows:

- I have no idea, I don't watch TV.

14. Someone you want to switch lives with for one day and why?

- Hmm, since it's for a day only then Taemin. I want to know if 2min is real. (I ship them real hard)

15. Do you believe in yourself?

- I guess so?

16. What do you want to before you die?

- So much...travel, have a real taste of life, etc. Just the usual stuffs most people will want.

17. What do you see yourself in 10 years?

- 27 years old, working and doing something I like. And I'd probably never get married if I don't get rid of my obsession with Taemin by then. HAHAHA.

18. List 5 things you can't live without

- Music

- Lights

- My mum

- Internet

- Taemin videos/pictures/voice lol

19. Write about your day yesterday

- I was trying to figure out the dumb codings for my blogskin and I gave up so I went to bed and then I got too absorbed in reading 2min fanfics that I ended up sleeping at 4am and waking up at 11am just to continue reading those fanfics. I finally dragged myself out of bed at 1pm to prepare lunch for my youngest sis and myself and we ate while watching High School Musical 2 on Disney Channel because our DVD player wasn't working. I end up falling asleep halfway through the show because it's just so damn boring and then I woke up again at 4 plus, lazing around till 6 before I bathe and head out with my sisters for dinner. Met up with this person before that and my sis traded her Yuri card for Sunny's and she's damn happy now -.- Went to the library after dinner to look for books to read and I suddenly felt the urge to search for some Chinese books since I haven't touch the language for nearly a year now and I've never finish reading a single book in Chinese so I wanted to challenge myself but I gave up in the end and got an English novel instead. Grabbed some icecream on the way home and then I'm on the computer till now.

Oh my god, I haven't realized how mundane my life is if I didn't type it out. :/

20. Who are your heroes?

- No one. Never believe in those 'So-and-so saved the day' crap.

21. Create a buckle list

- Tell me what's a buckle list first.

22. Your dream wedding

- Right now, it'd definitely be one with Taemin besides me. Lol, it's a dream wedding after all.

23. Five places you want to visit

- Paris

- Korea

- SHINee's dorm

- Japan

- US

24. Reblog the first post you see on your dash

- Done.

25. Take a picture of yourself smiling

(picture removed)

~~If you call that smiling. I need a haircut.~~

Done, but I'm still not sleepy. Gonna watch some movies. Sis just loaded lots of new films into my external hard drive. Muahaha.

i could really use a wish right now

2010-11-27T15:45:00.001+08:00

we are invincible

2010-11-25T23:09:00.001+08:00

I have been spending the past few days with these girls.

23 Nov: HQ's birthday celebration in advance :)

24 Nov: Stayover at Yvonne's house again with Jyan and Sandra. We stayed over last Saturday as well :)

Watched some movies and we got hungry in the middle of the night so we went to cook Tom Yum maggie. I never knew we can cook using this kind of cooker :/

Headed to the airport at 5.30AM and played around.

Breakfast + Flying Chess playing at McDonald's.

In the end Yvonne's flight got delayed so she's still in Singapore now. What's more, I bet she's having a great time in her own room at a 5 star hotel around Orchard area.

We shall all go stay at her house again, her house in China the next time round :)

샤이니 ★

2010-11-17T22:42:00.000+08:00

1. SHINee customized Sticky bought from SHINee World SG
Left to right: Jonghyun, Taemin, Onew, Key.
Sorry, didn't buy Minho's. :(

2. Close up
Left to right: Taemin (mushroom), Onew(drumstick), Jonghyun(Diamond)
Key's is not mine so can't open it up but I've got the close-up, it's a key :) Minho's is a frog in the middle and it's damn cute but I didn't buy it :(

3. My new Ipod Touch
(look, Taemin is pointing at me lol)

AND THIS IS WHY I'M FUCKING BROKE.

perhaps...

2010-11-16T20:58:00.001+08:00

Uhm so I've promoted but that's absolutely nothing to be happy about considering the fact that I promoted with such shitty grades and I've friends who didn't manage to get through it so there's no need for me to be happy at all. I've even thought of self-retaining but my parents don't want me to. Really afraid of J2 life, I can't bear the thought of constant mugging the whole freaking year.

Anyway, this job I'm having...I don't... But no, I'm not gonna give up and quit just because... I need the money and most importantly, I'm gonna prove them all wrong, prove to my dad that I'm not someone who "can't take hardships".

I get tired so easily nowadays. Turning in soon, gnight.

i rock

2010-11-06T02:50:00.001+08:00

(edited)

So now my flavors.me page, Twitter page and Tumblr dash looks like that. The result of random playing around with Gimp since I can't fall asleep.

And yes, it's all about leetaemin because he's amazing like that. I actually changed my blog url, flavors.me url and twitter username to something taemin-related. Okay, I admit I'm obsessed with him.

Because I can.

give me a break

2010-11-03T23:31:00.000+08:00

For once, can you all just be more understanding?

I'm so damn drained with school, project, results, work and everything. And all you know is to scold and nag at me for "sleeping once you reach home and play with your computer till midnight" and saying that "your whole sleep schedule is messed up".

What the fuck, you think I want this? Who doesn't want to have sufficient sleep every night? I'm so tired when I came back from school yet I can't even mention "I'm tired" to you since all I get back is a "Don't talk to me about tired."

And you think I work just because I want those "unnecessary things". But honestly, you are the one who expected me to pay for everything myself and how exactly am I supposed to do that if I didn't work? And stop comparing me with "other people's kids".

Now you are even interfering with I do to relax.

Seriously, whatever. Just leave me alone to deal with my own stuff and I'll be so damn glad.

$$$

2010-10-31T00:44:00.000+08:00

So I've found a job, thanks to Jingyan, and busied myself with work these two days. It's kinda interesting yet tiring and tough in the sense that there're really tons of things to learn and memorise. I think I need more time to get myself more familiarised with things. So basically, we were undergoing training these two days since the shop isn't officially opened yet. The things we learnt aren't few and thank god, the people there are actually really nice and friendly people. (Unlike my previous job, to be honest) I'm having my last session of training tomorrow and after that work will start, proper. Well, I suppose so. Uhm so yeah, I'll be schooling and working at the same time. Don't even know if I'm able to cope with that but I guess it should be alright. That's what poor kids like me got to learn to adapt to since I want so much things and I need to pay for them all with my own money.

Anyway, I've just bought a laptop. Doesn't looks nice at all but what to do, I have limited cash to spare so here's what I got:

Ugly isn't it? I wanted a Mac but my family objected. I wanted to get that lime green Sony Vaio but it's just way too overpriced. But goddammit, that lime is just wayyyy too sexy! I could barely peel my eyes off it! So yeah, that is the best a poor 17 year old can get. 1.2K gone from my bank account just like that~ but surprisingly I don't feel the pain hahaha.

So damn tired now. Gonna sleep right after this. I'm kinda excited how work will be like tomorrow (i mean later on). We'll be serving 'customers' hohoho.

Oh yes, this packet of stickys has been left untouched on my table for like 2 weeks? It's so precious that I don't dare to eat it and of course, can't bear to either. Mind you, it's customized meaning you can't get this anywhere in Singapore anymore okayyyyy. I should have bought more. Taemin~ ♥

And this is the very first batch of customized Stickys by SHINee World SG. Unfortunately, I've finished everything but there are pictures to keep!

And I've heard they're gonna make a third batch soon! They're actually gonna give these to the SHINee boys in December so can you imagine I'm actually eating the same thing as them? Amazing.

Okay whatever, I'm so sleepy I don't even know what I'm typing anymore.

Gnight.

confessions of a taemint

2010-10-25T03:17:00.001+08:00

School in less than 5 hours' time. Got to leave my house in 4 hours' time.

Finally done with our Written Report. We're either screwed or barely saved. Submitting it later at 10AM and after that, we will be free from WR. I don't even know whether that's a good thing or not. It means intensive OP practice. Kill me.

I can't get to sleep.
(Warning: DO NOT click 'Read More' You're gonna hate me.)

(I've warned you)

I've been replaying this over and over again these few days. And everytime, his voice never fails to invoke lots of feelings in me. This is coming from a biased and crazy fangirl but honestly, you've got to agree with me that his voice is really beautiful. I feel so much more at peace after listening to him and his cuteness made me smile too. No joke.

How can you not love this:

Did I successfully convert you into a Taemint? I hope I didn't. One last bit of cuteness before I go to bed:

Lol, goodnight. :)

KPOP Night Concert 2010

2010-10-24T15:39:00.000+08:00

Started off real bad. I was supposed to meet Kelly at Sembawang station at 6pm but she was late so I waited for nearly 15 minutes outside till I tapped in. Went up to the platform and I suddenly remembered that I forgot to bring my ticket out, called her and she said she forgotten too so we both went back home and take -.-
And fuck the rain, add on to my misery.

Anyway, we met up with the rest at Yishun and headed down to Expo. Reached at around 7.50pm (i think) and the concert is starting already so everyone was rushing and they didn't conduct any bag checks at all! Damn, I should have brought my zoom lens along. So of course I didn't take any photos (except some for FTI's performances) since I was standing so far away.

Okay so FT Island was first and they performed four songs. Then it was The Boss, ZE:A and then Infinite. Can't remember how many songs they performed. Okay, to be honest, I don't even know when which group is performing. I was sitting down during these 3 group's performances so I can't see a single thing. Sorry, was too tired plus I'm not interested too.

So I was happily sitting down and playing with my phone and then I heard the emcees sing "Noona neomu yeppo" and I sprang up immediately cause it means SHINee is next!! SHINee's popularity is really bursting judging by all the sudden screams and the standing on chairs. Lol, obviously I stood on my chair too but still, I can't really see clearly with everyone in front of me standing on their chairs as well. But whatever, I managed to catch glimpses of Taemin. Good thing his hair colour is outstanding plus he was wearing this sleeveless top so I could spot him easily. I screamed everytime the camera zoomed in on him and his face was displayed on the screen :) And oh, did I mention that the screen was so effing small? Anyway, they performed a total of four songs: Replay, RDD, Lucifer and Hello. Jjong wasn't there so they took turns to sing his parts. Taem sang his part for Lucifer and goddammit, he pulled off the long note perfectly!! He really did improve so much, I'm so proud of my baby <3
Here's a HD performance of Lucifer:

Then it was SNSD's turn. They started off with Genie, followed by Oh, Run Devil Run and Gee. Lastly, Big Bang came out and damn, they performed SEVEN songs! Like what the hell! That's a whole damn lot of songs! And I actually don't know all of them hahaha. But G-Dragon was dammmmnnnn cool!

The whole concert ended at 10 plus with all seven KPOP groups out on stage with the song "Heal the world" playing.

We headed over to Northpoint's Mac for dinner(?) and then I cabbed home with Kelly.

I miss SHINee already. I need to see them soon, closer too please.

♥ of my life

2010-10-23T16:19:00.000+08:00

Hi baby, see you in about 4 hours' time.
I can't believe we're on the same piece of land now, breathing the same air.

the only thing i'll never get bored of

2010-10-15T21:02:00.001+08:00

Yeah, so Promos are over, like finally. I'm pretty sure I've screwed up and to be really honest, I think there's a very high chance I won't pass two H2 and one H1 subjects so yeah, I'm more or less prepared to retain.

Now that the exam burden is gone, I felt all my previous excitement and enthusiasm all disappear as well. I don't even know why but I find life so boring right now. School's boring, movies are boring, Internet's boring and I don't even have to mood to shop anymore. I guess that's what weeks of endless mugging does to someone.

But PW is haunting me as soon as exams are over. My group is in a really terrible state right now, with WR not completed and problems among groupmates. I'm absolutely clueless about how we should continue with the whole shitty project.

I think I need to do something exciting and I don't know, new? But oh well, forget it. PW alone is enough to keep me vexed for hours.

Off to hit the sack now. I've nothing to do too, both online and offline. Bye.

after all, we're just pretentious creatures

2010-09-12T22:06:00.000+08:00

My life's in an utter mess and I'm totally clueless about what I should do.

I'm so dead. Initially, I was so enthusiastic and all about the holidays, I had plans and everything made. Then I had to fall sick, not just one or two days, but six days! IT'S SIX EFFING DAYS MIND YOU. I admit it was great having so much rest but damn, I didn't study at all! It was just sleep and me the whole day while everyone else were mugging their arse off. So what did I do for the whole week of holidays? Two chapters of chemistry, one Physics chapter, one Math chapter and EOM. _|_

20 days to Promos. I really don't know what to do already. I can't finish revision without no study break. I guess I'll just have to skip school on unnecessary days and fuck her if she dares to demand excuse letter from me. And at the very worse, if I retain, I'll just drop out of JC.

I hate this post, period.

and we all need a break from this crazy world

2010-09-08T19:48:00.001+08:00

I'm sick of people being judgmental. Sick of people hating just for the sake of hating.

i don't feel like myself anymore

2010-09-03T21:08:00.000+08:00

Hi, it's the September holidays now and I'm... I'm umm, crying at home? Oh well, I'm not literally crying but crying if you get what I mean. Okay whatever I don't even know what I'm talking about now. I'm caught in a serious dilemma(again) right now and I can't decide whether to go or not go for the KPop Night Concert. It's a rare event and I really want to go but the queue for $258 tickets starts tonight 12am at 313 and I'm unable to go queue now since my mum is really unhappy with me. So if that's the case I'll most probably get the $168 one but I'll be seated so far from the stage I can't even see a single thing. And now Jiawen managed to find someone to help us get the $258 tickets but I still can't decide whether to go or not. Everyone's saying that it's a waste of money because I only like Taemin out of the 6 groups which is like over 20 people. But I really really really love Taemin :/ Urgh why can't they bring in BEAST, SHINee, MBLAQ and Teen Top? I'll pay any price for that. I know I shouldn't complain so much but still... alright forget it.

Anyway, I bought my Hot Chili Paper Plus magazine with Crystal on Tuesday. It's $43 and worth every cent because so many people are featured and there're 6 posters and a DVD in it too! But still, my family will kill me if they found out I actually spent so much on a MAGAZINE.

Amazing isn't it? And mind you, that's like only 3% of what's inside! I swear!

Got to start studying from tomorrow onwards.

I hope this helps.

Sandra's 17.

2010-08-30T23:15:00.001+08:00

So sorry this is a super delayed post. My Internet connection's been ~~really sucky~~ such a bitch these few days (no, it's always this sucky) especially since my sister is using her laptop at the same time as me so I can't seem to upload any photos. Managed to persuade sis into disconnecting her wireless for me tonight so yay I'm gonna hurry finish this post up!

TengKY's birthday last friday and that's the card I made :)

Dinner at Fish and Co.

Wanted to have sliced ice but the shop wasn't open so we settled for Ya Kun.

Alright so that's about all. Sandra, hope you enjoyed your day even though it was just a really simply celebration :)

Now I'm off to sleep since I can't download any new videos because of the connection. Fuck Singtel. And my sis is so selfish she only disconnected for 30 minutes. Good thing I've finished uploading all to photobucket.

Teachers' Day celebration tomorrow. I want to skip it but I've pon school last week and teo's demanding parent's letter already. But it's alright, since I'll most probably be getting my Hot Chilli Paper Plus Magazine tomorrow woohoo wait for me BEAST :)

Oh yes, and the 30 days challenge thing, I think I'm gonna leave it as it is for now. Too lazy to write any more letters. Anyway I doubt anyone reads it so yeah, gnight :)

KOREAN POP NIGHT CONCERT 2010

2010-08-25T22:14:00.000+08:00

"EPIC CONCERT. 23 OCTOBER 2010. IN SINGAPORE. ONE STAGE. SIX K-POP BANDS STAGE. SIX K-POP BANDS - BIG BANG! FT ISLAND! GIRLS GENERATION! INFINITE! SHINEE! GUESS THE LAST BAND? SHINEE! GUESS THE LAST BAND?"

Okay so that was taken from the Korean Pop Night Concert 2010 Facebook page.

LIKE OMG WHAT IS THIS!! Serious? SHINee?!!! I'M TOO HAPPY AND EXCITED AND LOST FOR WORDS. I'm dying to see my precious Taeminnie and the rest of SHINee as well but it's rumoured that tickets are gonna be nearly $300. Don't know if it's really worth the money since I'm not even interested in the rest of the four groups. I will definately go if the last band is BEAST/TVXQ/TEEN TOP. I'm thinking it should be someone really big if not why are they acting all so mysterious? If that's the case then Teen Top will be off the list. Urgh please don't keep us hanging like that hurry spill the beans!

Ahhhhh just knowing that taemin is coming is enough to keep me all hyped up. <3

My life is pretty much fucked up right now

2010-08-21T15:03:00.003+08:00

I've been having dreams when I can't wake up no matter how hard I tried, and I'm fully aware that I'm still dreaming. I've been having such dreams almost daily for the past few weeks that it's really creeping me out. I just had one this morning and it bothers me so much that I went to read up on it.

Apparently people told me that it's something to do with paranormal beings and that scared the hell out of me even though I kept reassuring myself that it's just lucid dreaming. Now I'm more or less convinced that it's not anything like that but sleep paralysis.

"Sleep paralysis consists of a period of inability to perform voluntary movements either at sleep onset (called hypnogogic or predormital form) or upon awakening (called hypnopompic or postdormtal form)."

Google it if you need to know more.

At least I feel so much better now knowing that there's actually scientific explanation for that. And it's probably due to stress and sleep deprivation. Hahaha, I have to do something about it.

Now I need to study before going out to meet Felicia tonight for the first time in years!

(edited):

I'm back from Darian's band concert. It was rather amazing I must say although I can't really appreciate music. The conductor was quite eccentric and he totally looks like a pedophile. Oh yes, there's this cute percussion guy too.

Met up with Felicia and I'm surprised I actually didn't feel any awkwardness between us. I think the last time we really talked was in primary school and that's like so long ago. Really happy to see her still quite the same as before. I guess she's one of the very few who didn't change much, character-wise. I'm glad she said I'm didn't too.

Anyway, I let down my fringe for the second time in weeks (last night was first) and I felt so horrible. But I'm too ashamed of the pimples on my forehead to clip it up.

I may need to go to school like this if the pimples are still there. Urgh fuck my hair.

Awww Taeminnie why are you so cute? I love you sfm, no matter what they say of you.

SOOO BEAST!

2010-08-14T01:28:00.007+08:00

NOTE: Edited this post again because I missed out quite some details.

I'm back from seeing BEAST! They were damn wonderful but it was rather disappointing since they didn't have encore performance. I'm so tired from all the running and screaming I think I may wake up with a sore throat next morning. Anyway, shall upload the 800+ photos taken after I've gotten my sleep. I'll be back to edit and reorganize this post with details.

Now I'm feeling quite sad all of a sudden. They'll be leaving soon and i wonder when will be the next timr they visit again. I'll wait for their comeback in September! Hopefully on my birthday too! Man, it'll be the best birthday ever!

Edited post (9:00PM):

Alright so Crystal and me went down to Marina after Maths lecture test, reached around 2pm and joined some queue. BEAST and 4minute arrived at around 3.30pm for their rehearsal and we were excited like shit since their van stopped like just right in front of us (!!!). And I think they came straight from the airport since their flight arrived at 2.10pm. Rehearsal started and we ran from our queue place to the stage area but it was too far away to see anything clearly but still, they were damn cute! Dongwoon was like "Long time no see!" and Yoseob said "I'm hungry~"! DAMN CUTE OMG. So after BEAST was 4minute's turn to rehearse and many people started running so we stupidly followed as we thought BEAST will be leaving to get their lunch or something. End up all the people were just running back to their own vans. We went back to our queue, waited for a few minutes and were led to our seats. Didn't really get very good seats and I think we queued at the wrong side but it was better than nothing.

The whole concert started at 4 plus with weird people we don't even know who they are. I bet all the audience present are BEAST or 4minute fans. So we waited impatiently for BEAST and 4minute till 9.30pm while some more local groups performed. And before they appeared on stage, everyone started dragging the rows of chairs which were tied together and squeezed closer to each other and the stage. Hahaha I think you won't get what I mean but anyway, we ended up sitting almost in the middle instead of at the side.

4minute appeared first and they performed a few songs. I don't really know all exactly (I'm not really a fan) but I know there's Hot Issue and Huh and they didn't perform I My Me Mine. They're all damn pretty and the fanboys were shouting and screaming too. Short interaction time and we sang birthday song for Sohyun as her birthday is around the corner. She's the maknae of the group and younger than us and she's so cute! They ended with a few more songs and encore performance before they left the stage.

Then itappeared was BEAST's turn!! I was damn excited and nervous and all, couldn't stop screaming plus it was so warm my sweat was dripping non-stop. THEN BEAST CAME OUT OMFG DAMN HOT. They started with Beast is the B2st. They performed quite a number of songs - Special, Mystery, Bad Girl, Oasis and ended with Shock. And omfg Shock, Dujun called for some practice with the fans before they started singing and all the fans were like screaming the chorus. He's damn cute, he said something like "Practice practice. We sing you repeat." in his weird korean accent hahaha. Everyone started chanting "Encore!" when they ended their performance but sadly, they didn't have any. I think they need to rush off or something. Okay anyway, they had this question and answer session in between songs and omfg it was damn awesome! I didn't manage to catch all replies since I was busy taking photos but I remembered they asked who's the most sporty one and I was like "Yoseob can swim!!!" Hyunseung started doing pushups onstage and Kikwang took off his coat and I think he was preparing to show off his muscles but Yoseob pulled him back. Ahhh adorable. Hahaha so the answer I've heard was Yoseob is the most sporty member and then they said all the rest are sporty too (can't be 100% sure this is correct since there are 5614379 different versions all over the net). Oh yes, and Dongwoon asked "Do you miss BEAST?" like omg of course!!! I miss beast so much I miss them now already! The emcees also asked what they think of Singaporean females and Kikwang said sexy, Yoseob said very cute! That's the only two replies I've heard. It's like they're talking about their own good traits hahaha so cute~

Alright anyway after they went offstage, everyone started running to catch a glimpse of their vans leaving and no one gave a damn about what the emcees were saying (okay in fact no one bothered about the other performers as well. We were all there for BEAST and 4Minute only, so sorry). So crystal and me waited for the vans to come out. We saw a few vans leaving but can't really make out the people inside plus no one screamed or made any commotion so we thought that some crew/staff were in it. Then we saw 4Minute's van leaving and theirs was sort of the last van. It was only until then that everyone realised BEAST is in the first van and started running to the roadside. We ran too and managed to see 4Minute's van pass by and Hyuna(I think) waved at us. Didn't see BEAST though. Anyway, I read somewhere that they stayed at Fullerton and lots of fans chased them all the way to their hotel lobby and managed to pass them presents. Crystal and I initially wanted to share cab with some people to chase after them as well but we can't make it because of lecture test and of course, it's not cheap to rent a maxicab, even with many people sharing. Ahhh, now i kind of regretted not doing that too if not I'll be able to see them even more upclose and pass them gifts as well.

Now some not so good stuff. Firstly, there's this group of secondary school chao ah lians seated behind us and I really can't stand them. I recognised them as the ones queueing behind us during the last fansign. We're damn suey right. And during BEAST's concert, two girls from the VVIP sector stood up on the chairs throughout so fanboys at the back kept throwing bottles at them but they missed terribly. People from the VVIP sector kept standing up and even held fanboards. One blocked out my view of any one of the boys standing at the corner. Like please, you've already gotten the VVIP tickets what more do you want? And then this girl seated few rows in front of me kept waving her hand so I couldn't really take pictures without her hand covering 50% of it. Urgh, inconsiderate shit.

Okay, photos now. I've almost 900 so I'm just going to upload some of the clearer ones.

Photos after jump break!

Queue.

BEAST's arrival! I think Dujun was the first one to alight but I didn't capture it on camera!

Junhyung! (red cap)

Hyunseung!

Yoseob!

Dongwoon! He looks like a superstar in shades and Yoseob looks so small compared to him!

Kikwang! (Black cap, geek specs=CUTE)

4Minute!

Sohyun!

Rehearsal! This is how freaking far away we stood!

I love Kikwang's face. And Yoseob was wearing ripped jeans!

This is Beast is the B2st (I'm pretty sure now)

Look at what they're doing. HAHAHA.

And then Hyunseung started to strip.

SHOCK!

4Minute

We're sitting this far away from the stage.

I have VIP pass

And that's our dinner.

Girl besides Crystal is obviously a fan of Lee Ki Kwang :)

MM Lee

I think they're called Urban Drum Crew and believe me, they're damn cool.

Ahhh, Electrico. Whatever.

And 4Minute's performance starts!

IT'S BEAST!!!

I tried taking a group shot but that damn fanboard kept blocking Yoseob

Mystery Mystery~

And that's the girl who stood up throughout the concert.

Junhyung ahhh~

Why is Hyunseung so pretty?

SO BEEEAAAAST~

They ended with SHOCK!

May upload more of the photos on Facebook.

At the end of the day, my pass was folded and torn. I'm going to laminate it.

Finally done with this post! Took me almost 5 hours to transfer the photos to my computer, edit, upload to Photobucket, and post it here. My goodness, I have so many things undone yet. I need to start studying tomorrow.

Anyway, BEAST and 4Minute are back in Seoul already, they took the flight this morning :(

never doubt it, never insult.

2010-08-07T18:05:00.000+08:00

Tumblr dashboard now looks like this:

And Facebook looks like this:

I was too bored and I refused to study. Shall attempt to do something about the Beast video contest later since Crystal can't do it anymore.

Inception is fucking awesome and it's really nice to catch up with secondary school clique just like in the past.

I have nothing else to blog about.

Off to rot bye.

you're all so beautiful.

2010-07-31T20:58:00.003+08:00

Fuck my life so hard. My fringe was too long and now it's fucking short and fugly. Fucking woman. How am I going to meet BEAST like this wtf. Then my ez-link card ran out of money, I didn't have enough coins for my bus ride home and I dropped my phone in a bucket of water but fortunately it's still alive. All the bad things seem to be happening to me recently. This is so unfair.

Anyway, I'M FUCKING GOING TO SEE BEAST AGAIN!!! Okay I think I mentioned that already but whatever, I'M GOING TO MEET BEAST OMFG!! Crystal bought the new Galaxy S and we've VIP tickets now!!!! ILY CRYSTAL!! (I don't publicly announce for people so you must feel honoured!) Now I'm trying to get my digital slr within this week since we're meeting them 2 weeks later! Hahaha can't believe we can be desperate to this extent! Hopefully my fringe can grow to the normal length within fourteen days.

Okay I need to calm down, still feeling damn excited. Badly needs to see them again. Sorry if I sounded like a superficial fangirl to you.

For now, I promise to study real hard for all tests and promos. I'll try to complete tutorials and stay awake during lectures. MYE results have been quite a big blow for me. I need to ace promos and prove to my parents I'm able to keep a balance. It's the only way they won't feel so sore about letting me get my dslr and going for BEAST's event. And it's the only way people won't look down on me.

Taemin you look so fucking gorgeous with your long hair I love you so very much.

(edit:)
Crystal just showed me pictures of the VIP tickets. DAMN COOL! Makes me damn hyped up now!
Okay anyway, SHINee's new album has been on replay for the fourth time already. It's damn nice and Taemin's voice is so sexy.

So I went to research on what to do with my super short bangs and found out that hair grows 1/2 inch per month so hopefully mine will grow 1/4 inch within two weeks! Goodness, I'm this desperate!

URGHHHH THIS IS SO DEPRESSING

2010-07-27T21:22:00.000+08:00

I think it's confirmed that BEAST is coming next month. I really wanna go but there's no other ways to obtain the tickets except to buy Samsung Galaxy S or answer questions on Samsung's FB page to win. Urghhh, I'm trying to lay my hands on a pair of tix! But honestly, probability of me getting one? I don't even dare to think of it. I don't mind giving this a miss if they're coming again for showcase/hi-5/fansign this year end. Really want to see them again! I was too ______(i don't even know what) the last time that I didn't even look at Junhyung and didn't pay much attention to Yoseob. Sucksto be a penniless fangirl.

And I've yet to get my 550D. I will get it. It's just a matter of when.

i'd be better off dead.

2010-07-23T22:09:00.000+08:00

Oh yes another week passed by just like that. Weekends are no longer exciting since I can't even go out for anything except studying. I failed my MYE and she wants to meet my parents. I don't understand why she insisted on seeing them no matter what. Now my mum's nagging non-stop since she's not free next week and my dad's going "Why you fail?" They don't even give a shit that I managed to pass GP and get a B for Chemistry.

Anyway, I didn't have a good week. My bottle spilled inside my bag yesterday and all my things were dripping wet, bit on my ulcer while talking bad about others to Crystal just now and it hurts like mad now my lips are swollen. Karma, fucking karma.

PW groupmate's really getting on my nerves a lot recently. Seriously, such a fucktard.

Racial Harmony Day was some day this week but I don't even know when exactly. My school's celebration was a total failure. Stupid racist "game" show, disgusting hosts and insulting 'Shock' performance! Gosh, the last one was the worst. Out of all songs, why choose to perform BEAST's song?! I'm sorry but I've to say this. I miss secondary school RHD celebration where almost everyone in class will wear ethnic costumes and we'll just take photos the whole day. Yes, I actually miss that. It's alright if you don't believe me, call me fake or whatsoever.

Anyway, this is what I watch daily for the past few days. Smexy Taemin and his long hair.

Sick and tired of everything.

Please, you need to have some individuality and stop copying. Makes me sick to the bones.

bow low

2010-07-17T21:58:00.001+08:00

Great quote up there, totally applicable.

One of the many reasons why I love Tumblr. It's awesome like that.

Short and quick update here. So I wasted my whole day doing nothing when I was supposed to be out studying with Sandra. I'm so sorry! I couldn't bring myself to leave the house so early when the weather's like that so I stayed home and slept for a few more hours. Sorry!

Things I ate today: Mac's, curry puff, chips. So much for losing weigh uh. Good that I went for a jog just now to ease my guilt. Alone and I felt like crying. (sorry, that was sacarsm) Oh and I did mention that the weighing scale at home's damn inaccurate, didn't I? It made me 6kg heavier! I thought I need to lose 8kg! Now it's down to 3-4kg. Need to start eating healthily but I guess that's near impossible. I hate veggies so I'd eat more fruits to compensate that.

Got to go finish up GP project and PW Written Report. I really need to do tutorials tomorrow!

Sad life I have. I know.

grow some balls, bitch.

2010-07-15T22:46:00.002+08:00

"Being nice to someone you dislike doesn’t mean you’re a fake. It means you’re mature enough to tolerate your dislike towards them."

Alright so June holidays made me gain back all my previously lost mass. I binged on chocolate every single day since there's one whole bag at home. Weighed myself and I've got a shock of my life. I'm now more determined than ever to lose weight. At least some before height-and-weight taking next week! I'm really trying my best now since I'm so determined. Just went jogging with Alisius around her house and I'm climbing up my 14-storeys block every day. Hopefully can shed some fats. Oh, and I'm most probably taking up swimming lessons too. I feel embarrassed telling people that I can't swim at this age.

School sucks. We're having a very superficial relationship with everyone now. I was surprised to know that even those who appeared to be ignorant do actually know about everything! Shall keep my guard against 'outsiders' and try not to blurt out any inappropriate stuff. Some class politics pissed the hell out of me. Asking someone else to take over me when I have not even confirmed it with the teacher? That's plain rude. For god's sake, she asked me to 'think twice' about it and tell her again. What if I've decided not to let go? I don't care if you're reading this or not but honestly, you've got to learn some respect.

Enough of that nonsense for now. My results suck big shit and tutor still dare to tell me "You're doing fine." You call 19/80 for Physics, 25/66 for Maths FINE? I think you need to do something about your vocabulary. I can't say anything for Physics since I didn't touch it AT ALL. But fuck you I spent a week on Math and look at that grade. Makes me want to puke.

I realised I've got nothing else to blog about except school. What do you expect? My life's boring like that.
But school life's really 'interesting'. Definately in a bad way, I must say. But whatever, I kind of like the way things are now since everyone's leaving us alone.

Oh yes, I'm getting quite impatient over here. It's been a month but the constellation projector I've ordered is still not here and the blogshop owner's not replying to my mails/comments.

So tired I shall go sleep after I queued more stuff on Tumblr.

-

2010-07-12T01:44:00.000+08:00

I don't know how to start but I need to.

I'm tired, in every possible way.

I'm feeling like a 60-odd years old lady. Skin condition is deteriorating, my teeth hurts when eating junk food, I feel sleepy easily, I don't like moving about much, shopping makes me moody, I've developed short-term memory, I feel like I'm dying.

Coffee doesn't work on me, not even sugarless ones. I need to find an effective source of energy fast.

School has barely resumed yet workload's been weighing me down. I take lesser subjects now than in secondary school but for 90% of my life, I'm preoccupied with school work. Somehow, I know I only have myself to blame. I'm throwing away priceless time as if it's worth lesser than my shit. Just like now, I should be completing all my undone Physics tutorials and submit the file in ~~tomorrow~~ later. But I don't even know what I'm doing. I'm everywhere except focusing on my work. I've hooked onto Flickr recently so that just adds to my online addiction list which already consists of so many other sites. Why can't I just be more disciplined? To think I was actually from a uniform group. HAH, where did that 4 years of training went to?

This time round, I've really chosen the wrong path. I wasn't cut out for JC life, I suppose. If only I realise it earlier, if only I was less stubborn, if only I wasn't so full of myself, if only I was given a second chance. I'd probably have went on a more suitable route for myself, I'd have heeded some people's advices, I'd have filled in a different set of course choices. But not only did I not realise that earlier, I'm stubborn, full of myself, and I'll never be given a second chance. So many 'If only's and 'I'd have's in life but I can't seem to do anything about them, can I? Too bad Jolyn, too bad.

Some people you meet in school are supposed to make your school life livelier, or at the very least, do not attempt to make life any harder for you. Why is that not the case for me? Those I'm referring to not only did not contribute to my happiness, they made my school life downright miserable. Well, better luck next time Jolyn.

I don't understand why I feel so restricted to blog about my exact thoughts. This is MY blog, so why do I care so much about what others view me as? I'm not going to worry my heart out about someone getting offended after reading this or whatsoever. I'm honestly not going to care anymore.

So, you better stay this way. Stay away.

you can't pretend that airplanes are shooting stars, idiot

2010-07-10T15:58:00.000+08:00

Can't stand my mum. She's been going on and on about it since last night when she returned from this wu qi xian guy's concert. So apparently she managed to shake hands with him and she refuses to wash her hands last night and now she's bugging me by singing his songs nonstop. A 40year old auntie going all crazy over a guy I have no idea how he looks like. I don't even!

I need to start studying if I don't wish to repeat J1 or go to poly next year but I just can't bring myself to sit at my desk. Flunked maths as expected but I don't seem to feel anything at all. Thought it'll be a wake-up call for me but no. I can't be bothered with school work now.

Shall go laze around on the couch. The weather's too perfect for anything else.

Call that intellectual, bitch? Now stop getting on my nerves.

bliss delayed

2010-07-06T19:39:00.001+08:00

Back from school. Feeling damn beat right now. No, I mean throughout the day. Can't even open my eyes properly, can't even smile and greet people properly. Didn't sleep well last night too. I don't even know what the hell am I worrying about.

So classes have resumed and had 4 lectures altogether today. This week's supposed to be PW intensive week so there's at least 3 hours of PW everyday. How crazy can the school get? I feel sick enough that I have to take up PW in JC let alone having to do it for hours straight. Not like I've got some cool awesome groupmates. Damn, I really hate project work.

Urgh, I'm too lazy to even talk more about today. Just know that the feeling of going back to school after a month of holidays really suck. I think I'd rather have exams all the way like seriously, don't have to face people who made you feel so bitchy and guilty. Just go to school, sit for a paper, and head home. Can school life be any better?

So yesterday was Grace's 17th. Jiawen, Crystal, Alisius and me went out to celebrate with her. Had Ajisen at Plaza Sing I think and what did we do? Gossipped, like what else right hahaha. Jiawen left early so the rest of us caught Eclipse at Shaw House cause' we were running all over the place and Toy Story's sold out at everywhere! And wow I think it's the best out of the 3 Twilight Saga movies. I don't know why exactly but I think it's purely because Pattinson didn't remove his shirt this time round. Thank god. New Moon was unbearable for me since he took off his shirt like eww fucking keep your damn shirt on not like you've got anything to show except for bones and hair. TBH, I hate Twilight Saga movies. I'm a fan of the books but the movies really suck. The Cullens are supposed to be oh-wow-omg-so-fucking-hot according to the books but well, I have nothing to say about the casts.

Anyway, Grace went off after the show leaving Crystal, Alisius and me to carry on with our bitching session. Hahaha whatever, you can hate us for all you want. Oh yes, I saw a bangala flasher on the way home. But well, I didn't see anything since he's standing some distance away.

I've still a long list of movies unwatched. Need to hurry go watch them asap before they're gone from the theatres. Hmm, I'm contemplating on a movie marathon on my own since everyone either watched it already/are not interested. Whatever okay, it's great to be alone that's why I really can't get why some people just can't be on their own for even the smallest thing.

Off to do PW now. That shit can seriously go to hell.

everyday i shock (shock) ~

2010-07-04T21:00:00.003+08:00

Ki Kwang...has abs?

Hmm why not? Nothing surprising right.

But this cutie Yoseob over here?

HE GOT ABS AND ARM MUSCLES TOO!!! WTF!!! TOTALLY UNBELIEVABLE AND SHOCKING!!!

I'M SUPER MESMERIZED BY HIM NOW. CAN'T GET OVER IT.

The BFG love of my life ahhh~

2010-07-02T23:38:00.003+08:00

HELLO PEOPLE MIDYEARS ARE FUCKING OVER! HELL YEAH!

Shan't elaborate on how screwed I am for every single paper already since I don't even feel anything right now. No bitterness about not being able to do almost every question, no regrets about not mugging harder during June. Seriously, I won't go about announcing to the whole world "FUCK LUH I DIDN'T DO THIS QUESTION. SHIT I CAN'T DO THAT. WALAO EH I DIDN'T KNOW THERE'S A LAST PAGE."

-'- You can suck that, bitch.

So today was meeting up with secondary school friends. Something really amazing happened on the train I swear I nearly hyper-ventilated. My life will be complete if there's a smile exchanged. Ahhhh~

Alright so met Sandra, Deb, Yvonne. Initial plan was to have a movie marathon but the wretched weather made it impossible for us to get to Cineleisure and HQ can't join us too. Ended up walking around 313 and headed to Yvonne's house with rented movie and loads of unhealthy food. She has got a rabbit at home like ewww right. And who says dislike animals = not caring/loving? That's not even logical! Okay whatever, will edit this post with photos some other day. They're all still in Sandra's camera or undergoing Photoshop surgery.

So damn glad midyears are over. I can finally take a break. Well, at least for a few days till PW dominate my timetable. Goodbye for now, I'm busy sorting out and downloading lots of files for my phone.

(Edited post after the jump)

So Sandra had send me the photos already and to my utter horror 3/4 of them are of her and yvonne. Hahahaha like send me those for what right!

Did the cat scare you? Seriously, I hate cats but this looks like a tiger cub.

Yvonne's bunny. Looks so much cuter than that cat but still, DO NOT TOUCH ME.

That's all. Her camera produces lousy quality photos HAHA.

stay away from me now i can bite

2010-06-27T12:51:00.000+08:00

I feel so terrible right now. Apparently Ki Kwang said bye-yum back to those who said that to him but he just smiled at us only :( and some fans even got yoseob to sign on her own signboard even though it's against the rules. Some got special treatment from doojoon too. Urgh I feel damn cheated now I should have secretly passed my gift to Ki Kwang and said more things to every single member. URGHHHHH. And to think we actually thought that our interactions with them are so great already. Okay so I've lost the mood to study already :-( :-( :-(

I LOVE KI KWANG!!!

2010-06-25T23:59:00.001+08:00

OMG THIS IS CRAZY! I AM STILL SUFFERING FROM THE AFTERSHOCK OF MEETING BEAST! (aftershock doesn't seems really appropriate but whatever I'm in absolutely no mood to think of anything else right now!) THEY ARE GODDAMN GORGEOUS AND AND AND KI KWANG ACTUALLY SMILED AT ME AFTER I SAID BYE-YUM TO HIM!!! OMGOMGOMG!

<17 mins later>

Alright so I've kind of calmed down to some extent since I really need to think properly and blog about more details. Hmm there's actually pictures but all are so low-quality so aren't gonna upload any.

Let's see. Crystal came over to my place in the morning and we studied for a few hours before heading out to meet her cousin. Oh yes and I last minute decided to write something for Ki Kwang so I made this origami heart thing and wrote some stuffs in it hahaha not gonna reveal it here! Ahhh I really can't recall what exactly happened afterwards; my mind is currently filled with images of my lovely guy and can't stop replaying the scene on stage. Okay so all I can remember are things like the messy and chaotic queue outside IMM (too chaotic that even the police came), the brainless fools (security guards, management team, fans, everyone), the crazy squeezing of people while queueing for our turn to get up the stage (it was so squeezy i'm certain no parts of me are left untouched but whatever they're all girls). BUT I CAN CLEARLY REMEMBER EVERYTHING UPON GETTING ONTO THE STAGE now that I've calmed down and think. Hmm I doubt you'll want me to go into the details here. But anyway, saw YoSeob first as he was seated the first and OMG HE'S BEAUTIFUL. The rest of the members are WOW too. Dong Woon can't stop smiling and I swear he is damn charming. Ki Kwang has got perfect flawless skin omg I can't stop staring at his face. Omg his eyeliner makes his eyes look damn sexy, his nose, his smile. OMG. I sound like a pervert here but whatever I can't stop myself from staring at that hot face which is like a metre away from me omg can't shake that image off now. But urgh, was too engrossed in the face I forgot to look at his cleavage wtf. Seriously he was wearing this super low-cut thing but urgh I didn't manage to catch even a glimpse! Such a waste! But it's alright. I still feel so unbelievable right now it's like a dream and I've difficulties arranging and typing my thoughts out. I hope he'll get to read my letter soon please!

I have no idea what else to say but this really feels just too fantastic. Ki Kwang's smile at me totally made me forget about all the frustrations and problems of that damn queueing.

AHHHHHHHHH~

and they were still trying to catch airplanes

2010-06-20T18:10:00.003+08:00

What's usually on the desk when I study. Pens, markers, highlighter, pencilcase, graphic calculator notes, notebook. Nescafe coffee drink doesn't help in keeping me wide awake I just drink it for fun. Spy Ibanking device and me on Tumblr even when I study hahaha.

Pasted there right in front of my study area. Serves as a constant reminder that I need to study but I don't think it works.

There's some serious issue with my biological clock. I stay up throughout the night till 7am to study and then I sleep until noon and I can't study till night cause' I'm too tired. Need to reverse it before school starts if not I'll be dead. And please better don't try overnight studying it sucks. It's exhausting, my brain and body don't feel like mine anymore and it just feels too awkward like I'm not in my own skin.

Oh yes, Happy Fathers' Day. Went out with mummy and sisters in the morning. Dad's out for work so we didn't celebrate Fathers' Day.

Photos after the jump!

(Kind of image-heavy!)

I'm the spastic king therefore the Mosaic. Alright show you one.

Took me so long to upload everything. Better not laugh at my fugly face. Damn tired right now I need my sleep.

give me a million dollars i need to escape all these shit

2010-06-19T00:34:00.000+08:00

LOOKS LIKE IT'S DECIDED. I AM GETTING MYSELF A CANON 550D. FUCK YEAH.
Parents finally gave in to my hourly psycho-ing day after day. Seriously don't see why they objected to it in the beginning since I am going to use MY OWN MONEY.

Can you actually believe that 3 fucking weeks of holidays are gone? Don't think I actually really did take a break from studies at all. I wasn't always physically with my books but I sure am mentally with them. At all times. That shit is even dominating my dreams. Can never understand why they chose to call it 'June holidays' when we didn't even get a break. Seriously, out of all words, why 'holidays'?

Time is never sufficient for a student. Honestly, I have not touch Physics since the very last day of school (or maybe few days before that). At all. Didn't even literally touch the notes and files. And there's still elephant load of chapters left untouched. I worry I won't be able to complete all by the start of school. Maybe then I'll be so desperate I'll go burn down the school together with all the exam scripts. Then I'll be king of the decade and everyone will be sending gifts of gratitude to my doorsteps. Hahaha dream on.

Just wait till mid-years are over. You'll see how I play. HAH JOKE. I'll prolly be forced to start revision for Promos and then A levels and perhaps start planning for university studies or maybe future overseas studies or my career or even start going for family-planning workshops. Ignore me I'm not making any sense over here.

Goodbye now it's time to go back to my abandoned chemistry notes. Hello dative bonding.

get me my frustrated wig

2010-06-17T22:04:00.000+08:00

Was supposed to have overnight study session with Sandra last night but didn't in the end so we went to school to study this morning. Guess what, I saw my lovely white chicken when we were on the way out of school for lunch. HE IS MEGA TERA PICA CUTE HAHAHA. Shall go back to school more often hahahaha.

And then we left early to watch Shrek (I know that's kind of out already but whatever). Hahaha this always happen. Studying session turn into movie-watching session. And once again we experienced the feeling of being poor. Had to survive on merely a few cents after paying for the tickets. I can never understand why there isn't students' price during school holidays. We're still students during holidays right? Okay anyway I think there were only less than 10 people in the theatre and there's this couple making out at the back hahaha that girl looks a generation older than that guy. Yeah we should mind our own business. The movie's great and I love Rumpelstiltskin best he's too funny he certainly helped relieve 36% of my stress. Funniest part was when he said something like "get me my angry wig" hahaha thus the title of this post.

Headed to the library and studied alone for a few more hours before going home since Sandra was too tired. AND I BUMPED INTO HQ ON MY WAY TO THE TRAIN STATION! Miss her so much, I think the last time we met was 3 months ago :( Then I had an encounter with this lunatic on the train. He was singing that Jing1 Wu3 Men2 song out loud and I was standing only 80cm away from him eww yucks right. But seriously I had to bit my lips so hard I almost tasted iron just to stop myself from laughing out loud. Too funny too funny.

I need to sleep. Got to wake up early tomorrow morning and head to the columbarium and maybe library afterwards. Oh well, the library's my favourite hang out place now. Not.

don't call my name, don't call my name, bye Fernando

2010-06-16T14:29:00.004+08:00

This.

Love it, but it made me scream at the end of the video. And look at her, she's not pretty. At all. She looks like a man imo.

do not judge!

2010-06-15T04:32:00.001+08:00

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a camwhore but look, I think I'm balding.

Time check: 4.26AM

I am still up and awake studying Econs. Got too bored while studying so I decided to take a break, take some photos, and get an excuse for myself to switch on the computer.

Was out studying with Sandra since yesterday morning till about 6pm and we went to catch "Killers" after that. Great show, hot casts, must watch.

Got to go back to studying now. I'm not tired I'm not tired I'm not tired.

i am not

2010-06-11T21:31:00.000+08:00

OOOH FANTASTIC.

I've lost 2kg since the last time I weighed in school. Hopefully I'll weigh even lighter in school 2 weeks later.

Completed notes for Maths, 3/4 done with revision for Maths. Got to start on Econs tomorrow.

I really, really (x1000) need to jog. Climbed up the stairs at my 14-storeys block and I'm already panting like mad. SUNDAY. Maybe Monday. Or perhaps Tuesday. Damn, I've got to stop procrastinating.

this is my ranting outlet

2010-06-10T00:06:00.000+08:00

Quit trying,
11:11 wishes won't ever come true. Because if they do, he will be hers, they will be happy and my life won't be as miserable.

Just thinking,
sometimes, or rather most of the time, it's really a lot easier to just keep your feelings to yourself instead of flashing them to the entire world. It reveals your hideous inner self, the one that yearns and craves for attention so much you'll go licking everyone's shoes just to get that bit of attention and start flaunting your reward to everyone. People don't understand (and never will) what is wrong inside your head and are just going to bitch about you behind your back. So save yourself some unnecessary attention. Ah, the worst thing, everyone really can't be bothered. You'll end up portraying yourself as the biggest fool in the universe. And you start wallowing in self-pity. And then you think, why did you even try to attract everyone's attention in the first place? Because you love being the topic of all conversations and you seek pleasure and comfort from that. But in the end, you got nothing and you realise you're indeed the greatest fool living.

There's this overwhelming feeling in me that I desperately need to get out of my system.
So I turn to this platform to vent where I know no fools will be able to interfere but sit in front of their screens and judge.

I'm not making any sense am I?

Fuck what they say, I need to buy myself a DSLR.

reality check

2010-06-07T18:34:00.000+08:00

Ahh well, so apparently time refuses to crawl just for once. It's June and one week of holidays flew past just like that and I've done nothing interesting or productive at all. Oh god, I've got to get my ass down to the library fast and do some serious studying. Staying at home will only end up spending a minimum of 6 hours each day on Youtube and Tumblr. And it seems 98 percent confirmed that I'm not getting my Universal Studios trip since practically the whole family obstinately objected to it. And I found out today that I can't cook fried rice and even my 14 year old sister is more knowledgeable about it than I am. And I procrastinate. A lot. I need to jog but I'm too lazy to drag myself downstairs. There, I'm a good-for-nothing whose life is so pathetic and boring.

And I'm not getting a haircut.

delirium

2010-06-05T00:43:00.006+08:00

1, 2: Class outing at Marina Barrage. Pathetic few that turned up. Heat was unbearable so we stayed in the shade and played some card games. Saw a rainbow, took a group shot and that basically sums up all.

3. Pictureka! game at Crystal's house. Took neoprints and had lunch at Jack's Place before heading to Crystal's house.

Okay this is kinda random but for god's sake please be mindful that:

YOUR ≠ YOU ALL

ALOT ≠ A LOT

IMMA = I'm going to/I am a.

I ain't in any position to talk about it but I've been seeing these so frequently on the Internet recently it kinda gets on my nerves. But it isn't targetted at anyone so don't feel offended or whatsoever.

I feel so lazy to blog so goodbye I shall enjoy the quietness of the night.

this's what holidays are for

2010-05-31T20:18:00.001+08:00

1. Do you love my new wallpaper? Previous Jerry Yan wallpaper is now replaced with JaeJoong's. Wahahaha I'll drool everytime I turn on my computer. Anyway, I spent hours working on it and I've got such a great sense of accomplishment now :) And I wish I've got Adobe PS instead of just Gimp :(

2. I've got nothing better to do after finishing my wallpaper so I decided to try lineart once more, now on camera because my previous human lineart failed terribly hahaha. Now I wish I've got a Tablet PC cause it's really such a chore drawing with the mouse.

Alright, I finally got stuff to update my portfolio.

Ohyes I forgot to mention that I've got a nightmare about MJ last night. It was crazy, I dreamt that he's some invincible monster who wanted to kill me. There was once I dreamt that my GP teacher forced me to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in mandrain during GP lessons but idk how so he scolded me for having no general knowledge. And Crystal was happily singing besides me. Ohmy, I always got weird dreams :/

i need some peace

2010-05-30T14:10:00.000+08:00

4G'09 class outing to Sentosa yesterday. Am very burnt right now even though photos didn't show. But still, had a great time catching up with ex-classmates. I realised that irregardless of whatever conflicts we had before, I still prefer secondary school friends to JC ones. I guess that's the case for almost everyone. And I found out that Facebook can be such a deceiving bitch. People appear to be happy and all in photos but that's not how they genuinely feel.

So we were walking around Vivo after the rest of the class went back home and I managed to get some pretty cheap accessories with all those sales going on. Went back to Adidas store and realised how much things have changed since my last day of work there. Well even though I've only worked for approximately 2 months there, it still feels kind of weird to see how things change and progress, be it the arrangement of products or even the staff. And I think I miss working there. Hahaha it's kind of ironic because that job is so tiring, both physically and mentally.

Alright, so holidays have pretty much started and I'm leading a carefree life watching videos and lazing around practically everyday. Great, I guess the phrase "Life's a bitch" will be gone from my dictionary this few weeks. But I really dislike waking up to a house full of people. Well, it's quite heart-warming to see the house so lively and not dead but urgh, can't stand all the deafening screams and squabbles of my sisters and the never-ending chains of words coming out from my mum's mouth. My dad's the best cause he doesn't make any irritating noise but still, he likes to nag at me for watching videos day and night. Hahaha, my family.

oh please, spare me from all those childish problems.

grab a snack, take a break

2010-05-27T21:24:00.002+08:00

Here comes my long awaited holidays! Bwahahaha!

Holiday of course must have To-Do list right, so here goes!

~~Watch DBSK dramas~~

~~Make new wallpaper for my desktop (i'm kinda sick of my current Jerry yan one. sorry jerry but i'll still love you forever)~~

~~Update portfolio~~

~~Outings~~
Universal Studios
Meet up with ex-colleagues
Save up for Instax
~~Movies~~

Borrow more novels
and of course, study for MYE
~~and please buy an alarm clock (i don't want my brain to get fried by sleeping with my phone every night)~~

Alright that's basically all. For now. Wait till I can think of more.

GP exam today was, hmm I have no idea how to describe it. But I'm genuinely glad that I didn't study for it at all hahaha because if I did I'll just be wasting my time since I won't be able to answer even if I did study so yeah. Felt damn relaxed after both papers ended because it's holidays!

No words can describe how grateful I am for this one-month break. Even though I know I can't play and rest for the whole month, but it's still so very important to me. Desperately need to take a breather from school work and people. Holidays are the best time when I can lock myself up at home without having to face anyone or anything I dislike. Sounds so selfish and such a loner right but seriously you've got to agree with me that being alone makes you feel so at peace.

SO, I need to live this June to the fullest. No regrets afterwards please.

it's time to stop

cute/hotness overflow

2010-05-26T18:55:00.000+08:00

Alright alright, short post before I go off to study for GP exam tomorrow. Damn, I should be revising for it about 4 hours ago yet I didn't because I was watching videos of DBSK on Youtube. Urgh it's really damn addictive I can't help it too :(

But hurray, I'll free after GP exam tomorrow yay! Although there's MYE after holidays but still, it's a one-month break so I'm gonna play 1.5 weeks or maybe 2 hahaha.

And oh yes before I forget, encounters with eyecandy today was awesome hahahahha~

how did things turn out this way?

2010-05-22T22:23:00.002+08:00

Wow is today some kind of Hunk Day? Was walking around Orchard with Sandra and saw lots of hot topless guys and tanktop guys distributing product samples or promoting whatever thing.

Flea was totally boring and we were there for only about 5minutes. Ended up shopping around at Ion Orchard, Taka and Cineleisure. I've finally gotten my Accessorize bag wooohooo! But $103.90 gone just like that. Hahaha and I saw another really pretty bag at Rockstar but really can't spend so much :( Mummy's not very happy so I don't get to buy my Instax anymore. Double :( Maybe next time.

School sucks totally. Mega gross people in class i can barely stand just the sight of them. Stop acting cute please you make me want to puke. Seriously I've never felt more disgusted.

Lectures and tutorials are giving me headaches, there's GP exam coming up too. I really hope holidays come soon, I'm going to need some serious catching up on schoolwork. And perhaps some time to enjoy before MYE comes knocking on my door.

I'm sick now and my voice has gone from bad to worse. I swear I sound more unpleasing than Donald duck.

On a brighter note, I think I'm in love. With DBSK. Hahaha! Been watching videos of them nonstop for hours these few days I think I'm addicted already ohno! Ahhh but can't blame me, cute+hot+pretty+talented guys aren't possible to resist.

Hey, my eyecandy doesn't look like chicken! >:-(

frustrations zone beware

2010-05-18T21:13:00.000+08:00

Dad drive me to school for the second time today. Damn happy cause I don't have to sweat like hell, I don't have to squeeze with disgusting people on the train and I don't have to climb up the seemingly never-ending slope to school.

Dance during P.E was really fun with all those self choreograph moves. Hahaha and we get to see someone's 'flying spins' again, totally lmao. Oh yes and I still don't get it what's so funny about me saying 'van der waals'. Pfft.

Went KFC with alisius, jiawen, crystal, grace and huixin after school and there's like 3 super hot guys there like omg really damn hot. And I feel so angry by what jiawen told us about what that weirdo in class said about the girls in class. Like come on look at yourself in the mirror and see for yourself what's in there. Ohno wait, you just got to pray it doesn't shatter right in your face. Urgh why are there so many gross people in class? I think they should all just go form one clique and by then perhaps they'll think they're the coolest clique in class. Ewww.

Sorry, I just can't stand how childish some people are.

bloody Monday blues

2010-05-17T20:09:00.000+08:00

Oh well, it's Monday again.

I can't express how much I hate school now it's just like cats and vege and lizards and pigeons combined to form one gigantic scary and gross monster.

Seriously JC life really sucks, to the extent that I question myself what exactly am I doing. I was studying for chemistry test the whole weekend plus discussing GPP and I feel so damn drained. I didn't listen to any lectures/tutorials today at all and I totally wasted my time. I was so tired that I could actually fall asleep while reading the comprehension passage and I just woke up too.

Damn, as if life's not difficult enough, they have to rush through lectures and tutorials like crazy. Come on it's May only we have one more year to complete syllabus stop making my life more difficult. And to make things worse, you have people in class whom you feel disgusted with just by looking at them. Teachers included. Plus they take PE lessons dmn seriously and I really don't get the point. Do they really think we're some all-rounded genius?

Urgh I'm so sorry but I really feel damn bitchy today.

Hopefully holidays can hurry come. I'm so looking forward to Universal Studios trip with friends. And hopefully I can get my Fuji Instax Mini 7S soon.

doesn't know my existence

2010-05-13T23:07:00.000+08:00

Hahaha I was wrong once again.
Guess I'm always wrong.

panic attxcks

2010-05-11T23:45:00.000+08:00

Today will be one of those better days if not for the freaky weather. I was already dripping sweat when I walked to the mrt station from home in the morning.

But anyway, bumped into jiawen at bishan station and went to school with her and guess what? Saw my eyecandy! Studying alone somemore. I swear he's damn hardworking+cute+handsome hahaha. And then I saw him after school in the school library again. Look, how hardworking.

So we sort of discussed GPP for a few minutes and that fucked up chinaboy didn't turn up again because apparently, he didn't know we're actually meeting today and he got 'dental'. Yeah right.

Ended up going to KFC with the girls then Jiawen and Alisius got to leave first. And Jiawen then texted me saying that she saw my eyecandy walking to the mrt station! Hahahaha I think I should stick to Jiawen more uh. Good things like this always happen when she's around. Not the first time already! LOL.

Went home shortly afterwards but it was raining so heavily I don't want to walk home. So I went to Sun Plaza wanting to get some double-sided tape from Popular and damn, it closed down long ago and I didn't know at all despite living in Sembawang. Okay that doesn't really matters but it's still raining so I went to the library while waiting for dad to come fetch me.

And I borrowed this book which I've been reading since I've gotten home. It's too addictive I don't even feel like putting it down. Ohno can't blame me it's been eons since I last read a proper decent novel! And needless to say, I didn't do any work at all hahaha. Ohmygod, I think judging by the rate I'm going, I'll probably get retained and some of my classmates may become my OGL next year. Shit, got to buck up!

Ohno I feel like a grandma going on and on about the boring events of my day. Hahaha as if anyone will be interested to read about what I was doing luh.

Got to hurry do tutorials now and finish up my book.

superficial humans.

2010-05-10T22:48:00.000+08:00

I think, presents and gifts have lost their significance already.

They are supposed to be something you willing give to someone to express feelings of love, gratitude, appreciation.

But why does it seems like material gifts are now a tool used by people to show how popular they are? It's like a measurement for the number of friends a person has.

Seriously, do you really feel happy if you've got to resort to forcing people to get you gifts in order to show that you're so-called 'loved by many?'

Somehow it seems like in this era, handmade cards and gifts aren't appreciated by 8 out of 10 people anymore.

"It is the thought that counts." Six words so overused that they've lost their meaning. Honestly, how many really mean it from the bottom of their hearts when they said that? Stop lying to your own pathetic inner self that so desperately yearns for attention.

Sigh, I'm really shocked at how superficial people can be.

Again, not targetting anyone in particular but well, "you wouldn't think I'm talking about you if you're totally innocent." (Quoted from Sandra)

never will be

2010-05-08T12:51:00.001+08:00

IT IS SATURDAY WAHAHAHA.

I was supposed to go studying somewhere or at home but urgh it's the weekends and I've waited a week for it so I'm not going to waste it on tutorials so I'm going out with sis later hahaha. I know I really should be studying since I flunked my Physics lecture test like hell (I left half of the questions blank) but really, whatever.

And seriously, fuck you asshole. It's your project as well stop showing attitude and whine about how upset you are over your Physics test that you don't even have the mood to contribute a shit to the project. Our GPP got rejected and you don't even give a shit ass about it? Go to hell man. Fuck PW and fuck you.

Before I forget, thanks Yanlin and Bayu for the candies :)

last night, i dreamt a dream. a dream so wonderful and vivid i wish i will never wake up.

we'll pull through it

2010-05-03T16:22:00.010+08:00

Haha, kinda fallen in love with owls and floral prints of late. Desperately wants the Owl Face Ring from F21 (first picture) but it's no longer available in stores since it's out quite some time ago. :'( Nothing can make up for the loss of that ring so pleasepleaseplease, anyone's willing to sell it to me if you have it?

I was sourcing for pretty owl accessories yesterday and found those owl clips at F21 :D but still it doesn't makes me feel any better for not having that ring in my posession :(

Alright, so yes I went shopping yesterday with Sandra but it was only until we've studied for about 7 hours in the library. So at least I've done some work and it sort of lessens my guilt for spending nearly 100 bucks.

And for the first time, I actually studied at home after a shopping trip. All thanks to Sandra who forced me to stay awake to revise instead of going to bed. I should still be studying now so I'm actually sneaking a break from arithmetic, dynamics and chemicals. Got to get started with my final P.I soon too. But heck, I don't really want to care about P.I anymore. It's a waste of time and energy and money and paper and ink.

A random fact discovered by Sandra and me yesterday: All Chemistry teachers have a screw loose in their brain. They're totally eccentric, from head to toe.

locked post.

2010-05-01T18:18:00.006+08:00

Click and enter password.

sucks to be a JC student. totally.

2010-04-29T23:46:00.003+08:00

Funny how I used to say "I want to hurry get out of Chung Cheng and go to a new school!"

Guess I was totally wrong. I thought people in JC should be more mature in their thinking and behaviour but guess I was wrong, once again.

Hey, look what's this JC shit doing to me.

(Hey XX, R. Heyhey XX, R. Will you ever see me?)

i hate everything and everyone

2010-04-28T19:40:00.003+08:00

I hate it when people post attention-seeking statuses n FaceBook.
I hate it even more when people post attention-seeking statuses every 5 minutes on FaceBook.
I hate it when people add 'heartbroken'/'sodapop'/'kisses'/'Bieber'/'hearts you'/'hates you' or whatever bubblegum or honeydew to their name on FaceBook because that's clearly NOT YOUR NAME.
I hate it when people copy me (in whatever ways)
I absolutely abhor it when people copy my drawings/way of designing and act like it was theirs!
I hate it when skinny people go on and on about how fat they are.
I hate it when not-so-clever people kept boasting about their knowledge.
I hate it when people keep complaining about how lousy the school is because seriously if the school's lousy and you're in it, what does that show about your own standards?
I hate it when people push all the blame to me.
I hate it when people kept complaining about how unproductive the group is when they themselves don't really want to do anything.
I hate it when people show me attitude.
I hate it when people are two-faced.
I hate it when disgusting people try to act cute.
I hate it when weird people try to be funny.
I hate it when people try all means to attract attention in class.
I hate it when I cry in front of a teacher uncontrollably.
I hate it when people see me cry.
I hate it because then I'll feel like such a weakling.
I hate it when I've got to force a smile and appear cheerful.
...I hate how I seems to hate everything and everyone.

Yes, I do hate so many things going on around me and in fact, I can list a hundred things I hate but so what? Judge me by all means because I don't care.

I'd lie in the middle of the road.

2010-04-26T22:08:00.002+08:00

"Give me back my life."

Five overused words, yet clearly expresses how unhappy I am with my current life.

perfectly alright alone

2010-04-24T14:53:00.002+08:00

Don't you just hate it when your neighbours have one of those dumb karaoke session blasting Hokkien/Malay/Indian songs when you're trying to have some peace at home?

I'm taking a day off from school work. I don't care if I can't catch up or whatsoever. I'm just so effing sick of studying from dawn to dusk every single day.

Today is one of those stay-home days, sleeping in till 1 noon waking up to an empty house with no one else around I've got the whole apartment to myself, it's gonna rain anytime, my hair in a mess, glasses on, large oversized T-shirt, gummies and green tea by my side, earphones stuffed in my ears with my playlist on replay, living a world with just myself. What more can I ask for? This is just pure bliss.

Each and every song I'm listening to mean something and represents a piece of memory. Some of which makes me smile, some simply makes me feel disgusted with my own past and I'll die to forget. Well, but I know I can't say I want to forget some things and they'll be gone. I know I can't forget about anything but just accept them as a part of me. I want a life with no regrets. I'll just treat those awful memories as a part of growing up.

I'm not emo-ing, just thinking.

zzzzzzzxc

2010-04-23T22:17:00.003+08:00

Phew another week gone. Damn tired.

I stayed up till 3.30am to complete my P.I and ended up missing PW lesson because I overslept. Hahaha stupid right.

Super long day today. Been trying to control myself from falling asleep every lecture. Sucks like vege yucks. I hate sitting in lectures/tutorials when I'm semiconscious my head will just keep dropping down like some pig hahaha.

Had Subway for lunch at Junction8 roof garden or whatever that place is called and saw this bunch of lower secondary school kids there hanging around, blasting music from their phones, running around yelling, sweating. And I think, why didn't I cherish my lower secondary school life? I think I'm just some loser who went straight home immediately after the 1.30pm bell rang.

Okay back to my boring school life, econs lecture ended slightly earlier so studied at the library with yanlin and I'm so tired I truly fell asleep hahaha. Headed over to Junction8 again with yanlin, alicia, derek and my new friend dunya. Dinner at KFC and then hurried back to school once again for the Nanyang Film Festival. First two clips were damn boring and lame and I can't catch a thing they're trying to say and the casts don't even look presentable. Lol. But the final clip was the best. Hahahaha.

And yay!!! I'm finally home now! Really damn tired so I'm going to turn in soon.

Urgh my blog's super boring. I've got to start thinking of something meaningful to blog about instead of ranting on about my monotonous lifestyle. Sucks to be a JC student.

this familiar feeling

2010-04-20T23:39:00.003+08:00

Wow who would have thought that my chemistry tutor will actually let me go for the Sydney trip when he told me "Jolyn I think you can forget about going to Sydney. You better stay in Singapore and study." But well, I've already decided not to go since I know none of the people who got in and it'll be so damn boring to go alone and I've went to australia before and it's kinda expensive not worth the money and yeah I really ought to stay home and study. Okay I'm just trying to come up with lots of excuses to make myself feel better.

It's my dad's birthday in a few minutes time but I haven't gotten anything for him yet. It's just damn hard to buy a gift for a man. There's only standard stuffs like wallet, shirts, cologne. So boring, nothing new. I guess I'll just do a card for him but it's the same every year, so boring!

I've been seeing lots of people who look like jiahao korkor recently. It somehow makes me feel that he's still here with us and after nearly 2 years, I still find it really hard to believe he's really gone. It just seems like he's on a really long vacation and won't be back so soon. But I guess we all have to accept the fact that he's really gone and will never come back again. Never.

bonds

2010-04-18T22:59:00.004+08:00

This is what you'll get if you left the library for an hour:

Hahaha their friendly reminder is friendly enough uh. But i think this only happens at Bishan library. I went studying with Sandra there yesterday and we left our stuff there and went out for lunch. Hahaha I know it's our fault for being inconsiderate but it's really funny to see the pink slip there when we return. Yesterday wasn't really productive but so much better as compared to staying at home. I managed to revise 2.5 chapters of Chemistry. Wanted to catch a late night movie but it was really late so decided to just have dinner and go home.

In the end, we all still prefer being around our secondary school friends. Not that I don't like my classmates, in fact they're a nice bunch of people, it's just that we all come from different schools, different background, different culture. It's really hard to click and there's bound to be times you can't stand each other. Sigh, I miss secondary school life when everyone's friend with everyone.

Strong ties aren't easy to break. So I guess hers and ours wasn't even strong to begin with. But SandraTKY, I'm glad we're still as close as before. Aren't you? Hahaha ;)

drained

2010-04-16T20:46:00.004+08:00

Phew, the week is finally over. I realised Friday's the only thing I actually look forward to during the school week. Pathetic isn't it. I feel so damn good going home on a Friday evening after school knowing that I will not have to stay up till as late as 2am in the morning just to complete my work and wake up 4 hours later. But well, the good feeling doesn't last long too. I know I've got to resume revision the next day too.

I'm really lagging behind by a great deal. I find myself unable to concentrate during lectures and this results in me having great difficulties with tutorials and assignments to the extent that I don't even feel like touching them at all. So I didn't do my tutorials, I attended lessons with work undone, pay no attention during lectures, can't do the questions, and it goes round again. It's a vicious cycle. Homework's piling up too. I'm kind of in the teacher's black list for Chemistry. He picks on me every single lesson and asks me to answer questions. EVERY SINGLE LESSON. I hate to be treated as if I'm stupid and don't know about anything. Sucks to feel inferior.

24 hours a day is seriously insufficient. I wish I could ask the Earth to rotate slower.
This week and last week had been such a rush I don't even have the time to make a trip down to the optician for a new pair of glasses. My current pair broke two weeks ago and it has been surviving on duct tape till now hahaha look:

Damn pathetic right! It's a good thing I wear contacts to school so it's still not that bad. Imagine putting on those specs to school! HAHA!

Alright, enough of sad/emo stuff for now. On a brighter note, PW groupings were released today. Even though it's not really our ideal group, but we really ought to be thankful that there's a close friend with us for 95% of the people right. And yeah, I'm really thankful to have Jiawen with me. At least it's not a total foreign group right! And I really hope that Crystal, Huixin and Junwen will cheer up okay! Look on the bright side of things, it may turn out just fine!

Mugging session with SandraTKY tomorrow. So tired, got to hit the pillow now.

Relationships are just plain fragile.

and here comes a feeling I thought I've forgotten

2010-04-15T00:14:00.004+08:00

Yet again, I let the chance slip pass me.

I wonder when will be the next time I'll see him again and when it comes, will I then have the courage to do what I desperately wanted to do or will I back out last minute like what I always did.

I hate myself for being such a coward.

I hate the way everything are right now.

And it really sucks to know that you stand totally no chance at all.

I hate how effing easy it is for me to lose confidence in myself.

I think I should just bury my head in books and think of nothing else.

So much things in me but I just can't seem to find the words to express.

-

2010-04-13T18:57:00.001+08:00

I'm not a pretty girl but I'm human and I've got feelings too.

OOO EMMM GEEE

2010-04-12T20:40:00.003+08:00

Can you believe it? I actually passed my 2.4km run with a D. Ohgod it's the first time ever in my life that I did so well know! I'll be happy like in heaven if I just get an E during my primary and secondary school days. And there's only SBJ left now and if I managed to jump 160cm, I'll get the first Silver in my life! Hahahaha what a joke right! But hey, don't laugh at me okay, cause it's already VERY good considering I'm a sports-idiot.

Urgh I hate my CT. She's really such a bitch. She force us to change into our uniform right after the run like wtf can't you see that we're all still so wet? And she said that jiawen's and my laughter "don't sound like human". Double wtf. Okay I find it kinda funny though but still, how can she say that?! (Not like she's very human)

And I'm still contemplating whether should I give school a miss tomorrow. I can still feel the virus in me :/

There's kinematics test and I haven't even started revising. Prepare to die!

Urghhh, it's been days since I last saw my EC :(

1/4 alive

2010-04-11T21:09:00.002+08:00

Napfa, shopping and studying got me 3/4 dead. I'm sick right now idk how the hell am I supposed to do my 2.4km run tomorrow morning. And hell, it's at 7.15am which means I got to get up at whuuut?! 5.30am?! Crazy shit.

Did my 5 stations yesterday and miraculously, I managed to pass all stations except for SBJ which is like very much expected luh I can't jump that thing since the year I got to take Napfa which is like 7years ago hahaha!

Town with sis after that and bought quite a number of new clothing but spent a great sum too. But heck, I seldom got the chance to spend my money too. Went out till very late and urghhhhh for the first time I missed my Jerry Yan show!! Grrrr.

And today, went out in the morning and studied with Yanlin at Yishun library. It was freezing cold and worsen my sickness. Completed maths assignment and studied for Econs test tomorrow but I swear nothing gets into my brain.

I regretted not staying home these two days and rest because now my legs are aching like mad and I've got fever :( why does this always happen before my 2.4 run? I don't want to run on another day :(:(:(

days like these

2010-04-09T21:27:00.004+08:00

(I koped photos from crystal's album)

I like today because today's an awesome day :D

PW lesson in the morning was pure fun and laughter. Played this super retarded game and laughed a lot at Nicholas Poh. WE: "What's this? POH." Nicholas: "What's this? ME." LMAO. And today have to be International Lame Jokes Day cause they kept going on and on and even Bayu became damn lame too but I swear the guys in our class have the best lame jokes hahaha.

And during the 2hour break before Econs lecture, we had our first ever class outing to Serangoon Mac's! Hahaha what a class outing uh. But yeah, took lots of photos and had a great lot of fun :) Rushed back to school to celebrate Yizhen's birthday and rushed for Econs lecture then. I was sweating like in hell by the time. But thank god, I'm able to understand lecture today like finally aha!

AND OH! I saw my EC in the canteen today wooohooooo hahahaha damn cute luh omggggg! Strawberry milk aha!

OH NO THERE'S NAPFA TOMORROW OMFG PLEASE LET ME PASS PLEASE LET ME PASS

ouch

2010-04-08T16:33:00.004+08:00

Uh I fell down during P.E lessons today :(. So damn malu luh I jumped to my feet as fast as I can. Hahaha but thank god only yanlin and huixin saw my super ugly and unglam position. Okay maybe some at the atrium and canteen saw too but whatever luh hahaha. Teacher didn't come today so we were on our own for P.E (okay even if she did come we're still mostly on our own) and aha it's damn slack! So long since I had such a relaxed P.E lesson.

Got back maths test result and yay I didn't fail!

Okay I'm so tired I'm falling asleep as I type.

I said I'll get over him and well, apparently I did.

study study study

2010-04-06T20:19:00.002+08:00

Got back chemistry test paper today and guess what? I failed, I've got 10/30 hahaha perfect ten uh. Well, I'm not shocked or what cause it's already very much expected. But seriously, I did stayed up till 2am to study for the test although I studied like 1 chapter only but it's still better than nothing right. Oh study 1chapter can get 10marks then study all 3chapters will I get full marks? Lol.

Wah I seriously have to start mugging already. Not for exams or tests but for tutorials. Hell man, I can't even understand a single damn thing the lecturer says which means I can't do tutorials too. And I've been attending tutorials these two days with work undone and daydreaming the entire lesson. No, I got to stop this shit.

Alright I go do my tutorials liao buuuhbyyyeeee!

nothing done.

2010-04-04T19:23:00.005+08:00

Whuuuut?! I have absolutely no idea what was i doing for the past 5 hours. I've been online for that long and I've done nothing at all for my P.I except two pathetic sentences. Goodness gracious.

And worse still, I just found out that there's Econs test coming up next week and my classmates have already started studying for it. What's more, it's already April and I still can't understand a fuck about Econs. Crazy!

So what's next? Maths, Physics, Chemistry test are all over and Econs test's coming up. I guess they'll give us PW test next asking us how to login to NYXchange. Hell no man.

And then once again I didn't do what I promised myself I will. And this 3-day break has been totally wasted on TV, sleep, Internet and slacking. I swear I didn't touch any tutorials/notes. Not at all. Seriously I really should go bang my head on the table.

good old days

2010-04-02T20:12:00.007+08:00

let your hair down

2010-04-01T20:51:00.003+08:00

I'm so glad there's a 3-day break coming up. So damn effing glad.

Today is the 1st of April which means 2 months of JC life have just passed, and why do 2 months feel like a year? I'm so very exhausted that I'm even tempted to quit JC. But no, I must pull through it. It's the path I've chosen myself and I won't back out.

Screwed up Chemistry test today I left so many questions blank :( I actually stayed up and study for it till 2am last night and yet I still can't do so many questions. Well, I think I got to adjust my biological clock and get used to sleeping at 1am/2am everyday. Acne breakout, muscle ache. I'll be a zombie by the end of these 2 years.

Argh, so much things to complain about. JC PE sucks big shit. I miss secondary school days when we used to hide in toilets and chitchat. Now, nobody will want to do that even if it's allowed. The toilets are just too stinky.

Note to self: I must do my revision and complete P.I during these 3 days. Throw the dumb phone away for the time-being.

come talk to me, you have no idea how much i want you

crazy!

2010-03-30T15:48:00.005+08:00

Today's a really bad day. 2.4km run made my tummy hurts like mad, I ended lessons at 3pm instead of 2pm and now I'm stuck under the effing void deck waiting for my mum to come fetch me(ooh sucha baby but whatever) all because of the super heavy rain and I feel like I'm fighting a battle now I'm so thirsty but I've got no more water left. I'm so so so tired I should be sleeping at home now. And there's still maths test tomorrow I've not yet study for and there's chemistry test and P.I to be handed in on Thursday and there's band after school tomorrow still and I swear I'm going bonkers already after physics practical just now. And for the whole effing day my contact lens are almost going to drop out and i feel so damn uncomfortable. This is a total fml.

stfu.

2010-03-27T20:44:00.001+08:00

Stop comparing and just be contented with who you are and what you have, bitch.